WE HAVE A MISTER ROGERS STATUE, NOW WE NEED A MISTER ROGERS-THEMED RESTAURANT. | PHOTO BY DAVE DICELLO

I’ve been covering Pittsburgh’s dining scene for seven years and it’s robust to say the least. Despite my eating expertise, I can barely keep up with all of the new pop-ups, food trucks, fast-casual spots, fine dining establishments, cafes, brew pubs, bakeries and ghost kitchens. But, since my imagination is bigger than my stomach, here are a few more suggestions.

Related: Just Opened Restaurants: Where To Go Right Now in Pittsburgh

Open a lasagna restaurant in Garfield

Last week, I took my daughter to see “The Garfield Movie.” She thought it was the cat’s meow, but, to me, it seemed like a two-hour Olive Garden commercial. The flick features the voices of Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames, so it helps to pretend it’s an animated version of “Pulp Fiction.”

As I sat in the theater trying to silence my growling stomach, I wondered why there isn’t a lasagna restaurant in Garfield. I’d love to chow down on the fat cat’s favorite dish in his namesake town. OK, technically, the place is named after U.S. President James A. Garfield, not Jim Davis’s 45-year-old comic strip, but you don’t see the plush versions of the 20th commander-in-chief suction cupped to car windows.

I’ve written about the neighborhood a lot over the years, but I’m never sure where it begins and ends. Someone should get the old Garfield’s Nightmare decor from Kennywood’s storage facility and use it to designate a border around the area.

Related: Third Space Bakery Opens in Garfield While Bitty & Beau’s Offers Coffee and Inclusion in the Strip

The ConvenYinz Store

Breaking into the industry and competing with national brands is tough, so why not open a retail outlet filled with nothing but Pittsburgh-made snacks, beverages, sauces, spices and candy? I recently attended an event at Fulton Commons, a Manchester co-working space that offers a Packaged Food Incubator & Accelerator program, and watched entrepreneurs pitch their ideas and pass out samples to a panel of foodies.

I’d love to walk down the aisles and fill my buggy with hometown goods such as Self-Reliant Seitan, Artie’s Hot Sauce, Thomas & Fisk Coffee, bottles of Burgh-ade and some pecan pie bars from Sweet Inspirations.

Dining Days at Kennywood

KENNYWOOD | PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

I’ve reached the age where Kennywood is more of a restaurant than an amusement park. A few days out of each year, management should open the gates to eaters only. The old bumper cars have already been remodeled to look like baskets of Potato Patch fries! Forget adrenaline junkies; cater to junk foodies!

For a nominal fee, famished yinzers can visit every food stand without having to dodge thousands of thrill-seekers. Imagine downing corn dogs, fries, cotton candy, Golden Nugget ice cream cones and funnel cakes with your friends while wearing matching ketchup-stained Kennywood outfits!

Defunct restaurants reimagined as a food truck

FUEL AND FUDDLE | PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

Every now and then, I get a hankering for a Rosemary’s Breasts, a chicken sandwich that was on Fuel and Fuddle’s menu from its opening day in 1996 to its closing last spring. The Oakland gastropub was my go-to spot during my college days and I’m still heartsick that it’s gone.

Second Helpings Food Truck would offer a rotating menu of beloved dishes from an array of defunct eateries, including the Original Hot Dog Shop, Dave & Andy’s Ice Cream, Gullifty’s, The Elbow Room, The Sharp Edge, Pappan’s Family Restaurant and Dunning’s Grill (you can see the old sign hanging up at Larimer’s Jackworth Ginger Beer Brewery).

Fans of Tom’s Diner now flock to the mobile version of the Dormont favorite for gyros and spinach pie and Hill’s Snack Bar Food Truck has all of your favorite pre-shopping trip treats from the ’80s!

Nostalgia is delicious.

Related: Here Are the 25 Best Restaurants in Pittsburgh

Move The Pavilion at Star Lake’s concession stand closer to Pittsburgh

While perusing the concert lineup at The Pavilion at Star Lake (New Kids on the Block is performing there this week 34 years after their first Burgettstown appearance!), I noticed the food lineup’s got the right stuff, too.

There are a bunch of celebrity-endorsed concessions at the concert venue that should have spots closer to home. You can visit Trejo’s Tacos, a taco stand branded by Hollywood tough guy Danny Trejo or keep it local and inhale Packed Bowls by Wiz Khalifa. The Grammy-nominated Pittsburgh recording artist sells munchies such as mac-and-cheese layered with tater tots and fried chicken nuggs, drizzled in Tangy Dab sauce and topped with Hot Cheetos dust.

I can’t wait to eat that at the Willie Nelson show on Sept. 14!

Mister Rogers-themed restaurant

Rudeness is rampant in restaurants these days. Since the pandemic ended, people can’t seem to mind their Ps and Qs at the table. We all need a lesson in neighborliness.

At a Mister Rogers-themed restaurant, a complimentary side of compassion would come with every order — and you’d be expected to dish it right back to the staff, who’ll be wearing cardigans and blue sneakers.

Pittsburgh’s patron saint was a vegetarian, so it’d be a meatless menu. Every day, a local food industry worker — such as a line cook, farmer, baker or chocolatier — would stop by to teach interactive lessons about their trade. And, yes, even adults will get crayons and educational placemats.

Chef Brockett would be proud.

A cemetery where everyone leaves a recipe on their tombstone

Taking strolls through cemeteries is one of my favorite pastimes. I learn something interesting each time I tiptoe through the tombstones, but an epitaph can only tell you so much.

I once saw a marker that, in addition to the decedent’s name and date of birth and death, had a recipe for oatmeal cookies etched into the granite. When I read it, my eyes and mouth began to water.

As a goth foodie, I know I’d dig a burial ground that’s also a recipe resting place. Being able to share kitchen wisdom from beyond the grave is a tasty form of immortality.

And I make a to-die-for Buffalo chicken dip.

A video store/restaurant

When I was 15, I landed my first cushy job at a movie rental shop in Oakmont called Video Hits. I loved it. Everybody did.

On Friday and Saturday nights in the ’90s, it was the place to be. The moment flicks made their home video debut, the place was packed with customers vying for copies. I wanted to get staff T-shirts made that read “I Survived the Titanic (VHS release)!”

Even if you weren’t able to snag the latest blockbuster, you could still watch a G- or PG-rated film on the shop’s TV and stock up on a week’s worth of old horror movies. If the free popcorn at Video Hits wasn’t enough to satisfy your appetite, Carnivores Restaurant & Sports Bar was (and still is!) there for a bite and a beer before your movie marathon.

Although it’s now a digital world and every movie is accessible on my phone, I still miss analog media. I want to be a member of a video store that offers a cinema-inspired food menu. “Fried Green Tomatoes,” anyone?

I hope a local pop culture-lovin’ chef will be kind and rewind the concept.

Bah! Humbug Holiday Pop-Up Bar

A cinderblock room where guests 40 and over can drink local booze out of Grinch mugs in silence.

More food brand mascots

I recently interviewed artist Jeff Bertrand about his impressive collection of food mascots. We both grew up idolizing McDonaldland characters (hell, I’m wearing Grimace socks as I type this), but it’s been a while since there have been any new cartoonish culinary icons.

Whether you own a hot dog shop, an ice cream stand or a pizzeria, please know I will purchase not only the food you sell, but the T-shirts, hats and stickers you brand with an anthropomorphic piece of food wearing an apron and a chef’s hat.

Food-themed vehicle round-up

THE BIG IDAHO POTATO TRUCK STOPPED IN PITTSBURGH LAST WEEK. | PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

Typically, I wouldn’t spend a 90-degree day in a parking lot filled with screaming tots, but I had to brake for the Big Idaho Potato Truck when it made a pit stop in McCandless last week.

The 4-ton tater is on a cross-country road trip to promote the American Heart Association and American Diabetes Association. Apparently, tubers are an excellent source of fiber and antioxidants when you don’t deep-fry them in grease! Who knew?

Hundreds of people showed up to ogle the giant spud.

Since yinzers love food-themed vehicles and our city is adept at hosting car shows (the annual Pittsburgh Vintage Grand Prix’s been cruisin’ since 1983), we should invite all the gas-powered gastronomic wonders to town.

LAST FALL, THE WIENERMOBILE WAS SPOTTED IN THE STRIP DISTRICT (ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE HEINZ HISTORY MUSEUM, NO LESS). | PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

People would stop in their tracks if they saw the Planters Nutmobile, Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, Just Born Peep Mobile, Hershey’s Kissmobile Cruiser, Red Bull Mini Cooper, Hamburger Harley, Boston Lobster Feast Car and local food trucks, including Divine Swine, in one place.

Revamp the West View McDonald’s sign

The McDonald’s sign in West View towers above the borough. As a kid growing up in Cranberry, I knew that seeing those Golden Arches jutting from the treetops meant I was almost to my Grandma Graver’s house on the North Side. Since she didn’t cook, it also meant I was about to get a Happy Meal!

Back then, the sign wasn’t just a corporate logo; the words “Welcome to West View” were written on it. It made me feel at home when I moved here in 2017. For whatever reason, the greeting has been erased.

The fast food restaurant has a sleek new sign at street level, so I think local officials should flip that old M upside down and create a new welcome sign for West View.