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Ian Riggins is a personal trainer, but he’s also a writer. “I’m obsessed with the language,” Riggins says, which is why he is bothered by much of the fitness rhetoric he sees in blogs and magazines. Phrases like “feel the burn,” “get shredded,” “no pain, no gain” and “boot camp” put him off. “It’s this really aggressive, violent language,” he says.

In May, Riggins published a short essay, “Shrine of the Hollow Chest,” in the online literary journal Atticus Review. The piece describes the insecurities and body issues Riggins experienced as a boy. He writes about being bullied for having a condition called pectus excavatum — a sunken chest.
 

“[Bullying] can have an impact on you without making you a toxic, horribly violent person,” Riggins says. “I do know that it definitely had a big impact on how I see myself. The boyhood stuff and being made fun of. I hope it didn’t impact how I acted towards anyone else — but I know that there are people that it might impact in that way.”

Riggins, 33, says he was never a “super athletic person” and didn’t start his fitness journey until he was 30, beginning with weightlifting. He wanted to look better. He wanted to get fit. The program he began involved “exercises that are impressive in a gym, as opposed to the things that you would actually use in your daily life,” he says.  

Riggins was also suffering from stress and health issues; he experiences chronic back pain due to scoliosis. He thought his new workout routine would solve those problems; after a year, his stress and pain symptoms had not gone away. 
 

He looked better, but he didn’t feel better. 

The lack of progress spurred his research into balance and posture. He began eating better, meditating, stretching, building strength. But he also approached fitness with intention and care. Over time, his stress levels dropped; his back pain, he says, is “almost entirely gone.”

This March, Riggins was certified as a National Academy of Sports Medicine personal trainer. Now, his clients — many of whom are working with a trainer for the first time — range from children to 60-year-olds. His youngest client, a 13-year-old named Rudy (who declined to share his last name), surprised Riggins.

“[Rudy told me his goal was] ‘to make my body look better,’” Riggins says. “He’s [13] years old! I said, ‘Believe me when I say I understand.’ There is nothing wrong with feeling that way, necessarily. But there’s also the [questions]: ‘Why do you feel that way? What makes you feel that way? Why do you think this is something that has to be done?’”
 

Rudy says it was his own idea to go to a personal trainer. He wants to “be buff,” he says; when his mother pointed out that Riggins isn’t necessarily buff himself, Rudy responded, “Yeah, that’s why I like him. He’s not intimidating.”

When Rudy tells Riggins that he wants to change his body, the trainer listens with compassion but doesn’t tell Rudy that he needs to change or gain muscle or become something society shows him he should become. Instead, Riggins teaches Rudy about balance (literally and philosophically) and helps him improve his posture.

He encourages Rudy to love the body he is in.   

As the rising sun burned the late-summer fog off another muggy Pittsburgh night, a small group of people met near the Sycamore Grove picnic shelter in Highland Park. Their intention: bathing.

Forest bathing, known as Shinrin-yoku in Japan (where it originated in the 1980s), is the practice of immersing oneself under the canopy of a living forest in an effort to realize a host of health benefits. In Pittsburgh, Moshe Sherman, co-owner of a complementary-medicine center in Edgewood called Cloud Gate PGH (cloudgatepgh.com), leads forest bathing sessions in Highland Park, Frick Park and other forested areas.

“In my experience, you feel the impact of forest bathing almost right away,” he says while leading energy exercises to help attendees slow down and focus on their breath.

“Research shows that as little as 20 minutes in the forest has a physiological impact.”
 

Science supports that claim. Forbes magazine recently analyzed a study published in the journal Environmental Research, which found a link between time spent in green spaces and reduced levels of the stress hormone cortisol, lower heart rate, lower blood pressure and other benefits.

What causes increased stress? Technology. They even have a word for it, Sherman says: “technostress.” It’s directly linked to the computers many of us use for work and mobile phones that are in our hands 24/7.

“Forest bathing gives us a way to balance those pressures,” Sherman says. “There are healing benefits of doing nothing and just being in nature.”

Forest bathing is not hiking, but rather spending purposeful, quiet time in the woods. During the hour-long session in Highland Park, the group strolled less than half a mile, including the length of the Babbling Brook Trail. Multiple times along the way Sherman, speaking in hushed tones, encouraged participants to find a comfortable spot to sit, stand or lay, then asked them to breathe deeply and clear their minds. The goal was to focus on the environment — the colors, sounds, textures and scents.
 

A swim meet was taking place in the park pool as the session began, filling the air with the sounds of cheering crowds, voices booming over the PA system. But the deeper and longer the group meandered into the forest canopy, the quieter the outside noise became. Not because they were moving away from it — rather, because their focus was shifting. The brook lived up to the “babbling” moniker. Leaves falling from trees floated gently through the sky, landing with a whisper onto the forest floor. Chipmunks scurried through the undergrowth stealing new-fallen acorns, seemingly unconcerned with the humans standing about.   

Verity Auden-Stevens often visits the park to do yoga and enjoys walking along its trails, but Sherman’s session was her first forest bathing experience. “It was lovely,” she says. “I found it very calming, centering and grounding.”
 

Upcoming sessions are scheduled from 2 to 3 p.m. on Oct. 6, 13 and 27, meeting at the Forbes and Braddock playground in Frick Park. (The sessions are free, although donations are appreciated.) While Sherman used several techniques designed to help participants make the most of their forest bathing experience, the truly wonderful thing about the practice, he says, is its accessibility.

“You can do it anytime. And here in Pittsburgh we’re so fortunate to have so many great parks with wooded areas. You can really do it just about anywhere.” 

Find our full list of 647 physicians across 77 specialties here. Our feature story on the lost art of conversation is here, and our top 10 favorite spots in the Pittsburgh Marathon are here.  

I could feel the sweat begin as my car crawled along Forbes Avenue in Oakland. It felt like I was catapulted into a twisted survival game. The object? Make it from one block to the next without taking out an oblivious pedestrian. Or two. Or 10. Everyone seemed far more interested in staring down at their iPhones than at the line of oncoming traffic about to turn them into hood ornaments.

“Tech neck. We walk around hunched over our iPhones like this, not paying attention,” a friend explains, contorting into a modern-day Quasimodo.

I realized I had seen that posture before. Well, felt it at least. Not while crossing the street, but while writing on my laptop, which is why I find myself face down on an adjustment table at Quitko Family Chiropractic.

“It’s easy to blame muscles on everything, but it is all about your posture and alignment,” says chiropractor Rich Quitko. “When you’re sitting at the desk, what’s happening? You’re leaning forward, looking down. Doing that 8, 10, 12 hours without taking breaks puts the head out of alignment and then it starts to pull on all the muscles of the neck, causing them to get very tight and go into spasm.”

Based on the sign hanging in his window, I guess I’m in good company: Relief from Headaches, Low Back Pain, Neck Pain, Shoulder Arm Pain, Hip Pain, Carpal Tunnel, Chronic Pain, Sports Injuries.  

“The crux of the treatment is to find where you are out of alignment and get that corrected so you feel better and you function better. I could massage you every single day, but until you fix the underlying cause, the pain is always going to come back,” Quitko says, rubbing BioFreeze pain relief gel into my neck and shoulders before sticking some electrode stims and ice on the tender points to relax the muscles.

Head and neck up, I’m reminded. Never bend forward at the waist. All things that immediately compromise my spine’s natural curve. “When you get chronically out of normal alignment year after year and you start to get arthritic in those joints because you are out of alignment, there becomes a point of no return. It’s rust inside of those joints, and they’re not going to move anymore,” he says.

After a few minutes, he removes the stims and begins adjusting my neck, shoulders and back to realign my bones; spinal adjusting is the main focus of the treatment to put it back in alignment, he says. I also get another reminder, said sternly with a smile, to stop hunching over my keyboard.  

“If we look at the X-rays, and you’re really out of alignment, you need to get that fixed,” he says. “If you don’t, what’s the prognosis 5, 10, 15 years down the road? It’s people of all ages, not just the elderly, that you see using canes, walkers, wheelchairs. And that’s all preventable.”   

What I noticed afterward: Taking frequent, 2-minute breaks from sitting at the computer just to move around and stretch did wonders for my cramping muscles.
 

As has been the tradition, when everyone else is getting their holly-jolly on, every muscle in my body begins to coil around my bones like a boa constrictor. 
 
Gas bills that make me wonder if I’m heating the entire neighborhood. Tighter.

Blaring horns fighting over parking spaces at the mall. Tighter.

Forgetting whose turn it was to buy, thaw and cook the dang turkey. Oh, it was me? Tighter.

I seek out Elements Massage, where the client intake form wants to know what brings me to their Wexford location. “Please check all that apply,” it kindly asks.

As I begin answering — my back, my neck, my shoulders, my sciatic nerve — it dawns on me that my current list of ails sounds as woeful as a country western song. My saving grace is that for the next 60 minutes, I’ll be drowning my sorrows in Room No. 8. Face down on a heated massage table. Tucked under a crisp white sheet and a warm blanket. Lights dimmed. Music soft. A chocolate waiting for me on a tray.

“Can you feel that stretch?”
 

Licensed massage therapist Nathan Cook is midway through my Swedish-style orthopedic massage, slowly coaxing my leg to lift higher, like the tail of an airplane. As it reaches maximum altitude, I can feel the muscles in my quads and hips begin to uncoil. He continues the sequence — lift, cross, pull, lift, cross, pull — before moving on to my hamstrings, glutes (and then deeper into the piriformis), hip abductors and gastrocnemius muscles in my calves.

“What a muscle does to function is contract, or shorten,” he explains. “If a muscle is chronically tight or shortened, it is not as functional as it would be at its natural resting length.

Additionally, when a muscle is tight it can ‘pinch’ other tissues that run through or under it (including) blood vessels, capillaries and nerves.” 

I drift into a euphoric state of half consciousness, aware only that the hour is moving far too quickly as he begins untying the knots in my lower back. As he does, he remains keenly aware of any changes in my breathing; namely, when I wince over the tender spots.

“Five minutes left,” he tells me. 

“If you have one to spare,” I say, wiggling my arms out from underneath the blanket, “my hands are cramped, too.”

Verdict: I was a little sore the next day. The following day, however, after drinking plenty of water as directed, the majority of my aches had disappeared.

Elements Massage, 12085 Perry Highway, Wexford; 724/799-2593, elementsmassage.com/wexford. Sessions by appointment; 1 hr/$89; 90 min/$129; 2 hrs/$178. You can save up to $30/session with the Elements Wellness Program, a monthly massage subscription with no contracts or fees that can be used at any location nationwide.
 

Eat This Month

Phytosterols
These naturally occurring compounds found within plant cell membranes have been shown to reduce total cholesterol levels up to 10 percent and LDL (aka "bad" cholesterol) up to 14 percent, says registered dietitian Jenny Nguyen. Find them in nuts, legumes, whole grains, fruits and veggies, although a plant sterol/stanol supplement packs the greatest punch. “If you are battling high cholesterol, the National Cholesterol Education Program recommends consuming two grams per day,” she says. 
 

Admittedly, the biggest concern I have when I sign up for an afternoon of axe throwing is deciding what to wear. My favorite flannel seems too cliché, so I settle on a white T-shirt and jeans. The leopard print wedge heels add a nice touch, although I’ve become so accustomed to being accused of wearing inappropriate footwear that I throw my Puma sneakers into the car just in case. 

“There’s only one wardrobe rule,” says LumberjAxes co-owner Jack Welsh upon my arrival. “No open-toed shoes or sandals.”

“So, I can wear these?” I ask, pointing to my wedges.

“Yep,” he says.

The elation I feel is second only to that of wrapping my hands around the handle of a Valley axe; 15 inches of American Hickory topped off with a steel blade.
 

Technically, axe throwing is a game you play with a group in round robin and tournament fashion: five throws per round in a best-of-three match. The bull’s-eye gets you five points, three for nailing the red circle and one for blue. When the round robin stage is over, scores are tallied and everyone participates in a tournament.  

Since I’m flying solo, my only objective is to hit the target, which has been spray painted onto some soft pine boards nailed to the wall in front of my lane. There are eight caged lanes to the left of me and 11 to the right; 20 in all.

“OK,” Welsh says, grabbing an axe. “Put your left foot forward. Put your strong hand over your weak one like you’re gripping a golf club. Lean into the bull’s-eye, raise your arms up, lean back, then finish at the bull’s-eye.” He lets his axe rip.

I follow suit and watch it ricochet off the pine. “Not enough force,” Welsh says.
 

On my fourth attempt, I nail the blue line. Sheer joy. And when I finally hit the bull’s-eye 10 throws later, I’m smug. 

“You can’t just get cocky and chuck it,” Welsh says as my next attempt bounces high. “Square up each time. Think about your shot.”  

Eventually, I nail two more bull’s-eyes, although they’re separated by a string of profanities. Which, I’m told, is the norm.

“People get pretty competitive,” Welsh says. “You get into it really, really quickly.”

Verdict: It’s more finesse than muscle, but you’ll still work up a sweat from throwing and retrieving your axe.

LumberjAxes • 2 Sedgwick St., Millvale; 412/254-4441, axethrowingpgh.com. Group events are $35/person for two and a half hours. Walk-in sessions for individuals are $20/person for an hour.
 

Eat This Month

Mushrooms
Exposing two ounces of sliced mushrooms to sunlight for 15 to 30 minutes on clear or partly cloudy days increase their vitamin D content to almost 150 mg (25 percent of the daily recommended allowance for adults), matching 8 ounces of milk, says registered dietitian Nick Fischer of Fischer Nutrition. It’s an inexpensive, and nutrient-dense, way to enhance the flavor of almost any dish. “Anytime you include mushrooms it's a quality ‘supplement’ choice,” he adds.
 

I don’t know why I’ve always had an attitude about Zumba, but I do.

So why in the world I signed up for a Water Zumba class at Club Julian in Ross Township is beyond me. I can’t imagine that the cookiepalooza I’ve been indulging in over the past week (OK, month) will do me or my bikini any favors; furthermore, I completely overlooked the fact that all that dancing around in the water will inevitably bring about splashing, and

I’m not wearing waterproof mascara.

But it’s too late to turn back now. Class starts in five minutes, and I’ve already signed the waiver.

“Hi Kate!” my certified zumba instructor, Jen Pearson, calls out cheerily. “We’re so glad to have you here today.”
 

Jen clearly knows nothing about my poor attitude, gluttony and vanity, but no matter; this class is a full house. The indoor pool, which I’m told is always heated to 84 degrees, is teeming with about 30 older-and-wiser gals.

“I stay on dry land because no one would know what I was doing if I were in the water,” Jen explains. “And the tempo is half the tempo on land — because when you’re in the water, you obviously can’t move as fast. It also doesn’t matter if you’re going left and I’m going right because no one can see what you’re doing underwater anyway.”

Thank God. Because while she leads us through 60 minutes worth of moves that feel like the aquatic love child of dancing and kickboxing — hold, hold, single, single, cross and drag your arms through the water, feeling the resistance … OK, rock back and forth, back and forth …  now kick! Forward, side, back, and now the left side, forward, side, back … Legs up, let’s work our abs and pull in our legs, left then right, left then right. I’m having a grand old time in the corner of the pool with limbs that have gone rogue. Little of what I’m doing resembles Jen’s instruction. But the only thing visible to the world is my bobbing head, which is fortunate, because underneath the water my body’s in a free for all.  
 

Despite this, the resistance from the water makes me feel like something good is happening. In fact, by the time our hour is up, I feel famished.

“People get addicted to this,” Jen says. 

Verdict: A surprisingly enjoyable twist on a popular craze; also, good for people with knee or back problems since the buoyancy of the water absorbs impact.

Club Julian  •  101 Corbett Court, Ross Township; 412/366-1931, clubjulian.com. Water Zumba is held every first, third and fifth Friday of the month. Membership prices vary. 
 

Drink This Month

Green Tea
Whether loose-leaf or matcha, green tea packs a punch, says registered dietitian Matthew Darnell of the University of Pittsburgh and sports dietitian for the Pittsburgh Steelers. It contains L-theanine, which can act as a sedative-free calming agent that may help with focus, as well as Polyphenols, powerful antioxidants to help fight free radicals. Enjoy two cups per day either hot or chilled, but you should go for high-quality. “Many bagged teas and bottled teas have considerably less phytonutrients compared to home-brewed loose leaf or matcha,” Darnell says.
 

OK, this is 'advanced beginner' … you can quote me as saying that.”

I can only assume that my blank stare has prompted Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre’s dance and fitness programs manager Kristy Boyle to offer genuine condolences for what was touted as a beginner’s ballet class with advanced beginning combinations.

Because it does, indeed, seem that everyone in this gorgeous, floor-to-ceiling windowed space within PBT’s Strip District headquarters has some "Swan Lake" running through their veins. Well, almost everyone … although there is one enthusiastic fellow who appears to be at even more of a disadvantage than I am (and rumor has it he’s been practicing for years). With a private instructor. Which might have stroked my ego but for the fact he’s got at least three decades on me.

The irony is that the first 20 minutes of this 90-minute class weren't so bad.

“OK, take your position at the bar. Half pointe, half down … right, left, right, left, plié. Stretch up, down, push over, heels down. I’ll call it out the first time,” says my instructor, Shanna Naider. “Now, let’s go over a few basics.”

The basics turn out to be a review of the first five positions of ballet:

First: heels together and toes out to the side.

Second is feet nice and wide; shoulders over hips.

Skip Third… we never use Third.

Fourth: one foot in front of the other with about a foot in between, shoulders and hips squared.

Fifth: squeeze your feet together, each heel touching the opposite toe.
 

I had just begun to kid myself when Naider got down to business:

“OK, plié! Right arm, left arm, shall we do it quicker? Five, six, seven, eight, dégagé, and fifth, dégagé and fifth, side, fifth … down, up, center, up, down, turn left, make sure your back heel is down! Down, up, down, up, pick up the left leg, turn left … we’re going to go a little quicker. Point those toes like daggers!”

By now, I’m choreographing my own routine, something that probably looks like a series of unfortunate muscle spasms. Never mind the French lesson I’m mentally butchering.

Tondu! Dégagé! Rond de Jambe! Jeté!

“If you get confused which way to jeté, I will help you,” Naider says, producing a foam finger. The foam finger turns out to be my saving grace, although not enough to prevent me from waving the white flag after a pitiful attempt to join the class as they jeté their way across the floor together.
 

“The first class is overwhelming,” she says. “You just have to stick with it.”

Verdict: Unless your dancing skills are sharp, this one requires commitment. 

Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre  •  2900 Liberty Ave., Strip District; 412/281-0360, pbt.org. First class is free. Drop-ins are $15, or new students can get a one-month unlimited class package for $80.
 

Eat This Month

Hemp Seeds
These nutty seeds pack a punch with an ideal ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 fatty acids. That's great for promoting heart health, as well as being a good source of fiber, says registered dietitian Kaley Sechman of Case Specific Nutrition. They also contain vitamin E, phosphorus, potassium, magnesium, iron and zinc. Enjoy 10 grams of plant-based protein when you add 3 tablespoons to your smoothies, in Greek yogurt, on morning oats or sprinkled over a salad.
 

There’s a moment when you know you’re committed to a workout routine.

For me, that moment came when I arrived for a spinning class at Mecka Fitness and was asked what size shoe I wore.

“Seven,” I replied dubiously. “Why?”

“I’ll get you some SPD Cleats,” said manager April Jackson. “They bolt you to the bike.”

Admittedly, I’m late to the whole spinning craze. I vaguely remember someone telling me that the instructor screams and calls you names the whole time. But bolting me to the bike? Sadistic.

I’m told the cleats that will lock me into Bike No. 18 for the next 45 minutes will engage a far greater muscle mass, because not only will I be engaging my center of power to push down, but I’ll also be engaging them to pull up.

“Your butt is going to hurt tomorrow, but you’ll feel great!” Jackson adds.

Inside the space are rows of Schwinn spin bikes on tiered risers. There is a video of a virtual road projected onto the wall. “Your bike is attached to an avatar, and you’ll also get to see your stats,” Jackson explains.

After she locks me to my bike, certified instructor Jill Gates comes over to say hello.

“The big key is to watch the monitor and keep your RPMs between 75 and 80, which is your baseline,” she explains as the lights dim and music comes on.

I can already see my avatar slacking behind the pack, so I pick up the pace.  

“OK, let’s mentally prepare to get out of the grey, green and blue. We’re aiming to get into the red. Give me one half turn of resistance and get out of the saddle,” Gates calls out.
 

“Five, four, three, two, one… turn up! Everyone stand! Stand!”

If the avatar is the bait, I’ve taken it, refusing to allow No. 18 to fall out of the race. As my heart rate jacks up, Gates makes her intentions known.  

“I’m gonna get a 40-second sprint out of you!” she says. “Give me 95 RPMs. Off the saddle! Three, two, one… go!”

Hunkered down, sweat beading, legs flying, quads ignited, I imagine hundreds of calories burning. Glancing at the monitor, it’s more like four. I keep up, though, eventually burning my way through 285 calories, to which I gladly bid adieu.

“I’ve seen people come two to three times a week, and the fat just melts off,” Jackson says.

Verdict: The energy spike you feel for the next 24 hours is ridiculously addicting. Good luck trying to resist it.  

Mecka Fitness  •  439 Washington Road, Mt. Lebanon; 412/206-0941, meckafitness.com
First class: $10. Monthly packages range between $99-$149.
 

Eat This Month

Vitamin K2
Along with calcium and Vitamin D, Vitamin K2 has proven to be essential for bone building, assisting with placement of calcium in the bones and teeth, says registered dietitian and holistic health practitioner Jessica Marshall of New Directions Counseling Services in Wexford. Most diets are lacking in Vitamin K2, but it can be found in fermented foods, dark chicken meat, hard cheeses and eggs, she says.
 

An ongoing delusion that one day my hips magically will unlock has brought me to FASTER Pittsburgh in Robinson Township, where I’ve managed to squeeze into one of the few open spots for the Kam Jamz Hip Hop Cardio Class. 

As it turns out, “Kam” is my instructor, Kamela Niskach, who warmly insists that a complete lack of dexterity shouldn’t prevent me, or anyone else, from signing up.    

“I encourage no skill level at all,” she says before ticking off a survival guide for beginners: Keep an open mind. Have fun. Keep moving. Get lost in the music. Make it an experience.
 

I don’t doubt I’m going to be making the next 60 minutes an experience, both for myself and those around me.

​Niskach laughs off my skill assessment, her face lighting up with an effervescent smile. “We can chat after class,” she says. “If you don’t die first.”

We both enjoy the joke, heading into the gym where about two dozen girls and two guys are waiting. “Happy Fricking Monday!” Niskach's voice booms. “This is going to be a little athletic… you know what that means! OK, warm it up!”

Which we all begin to do; relatively easy moves that segue into the real deal.

Walk up four, back four, jumping jacks center… four, three, two, and out, clap clap…. Left knee, one, two, pull! Knee pull! Knee pull! Put your arms up… yeah! Alright! Alright! Pop, pop, squat! Pop, pop, squat! Squat huge! Do it again! Do it again!

Within about 15 minutes, my brain begins to flatline. System overload. Niskach goes right, I go left. Niskach goes down, I pop up. A woman who looks old enough to be my mother is grooving her heart out, and the gal in front of me pops, locks and drops like a backup dancer for J-Lo. I do notice that those who can follow her clear instructions are sweating profusely.
 

I try to follow along, another fail. Criss cross your foot! Step, high knee, boom, boom! Raise the roof… yeah! Glancing in the mirror, it’s as bad as I think it looks. By the time Niskach & Co. pop a handstand and kick into an aerial split, all I can do is laugh.   

“You did great!” she insists afterwards. 

I tell her she’s lying. “Come back and give it another shot!” she says. “The routines are all very similar … You’ll pick it up!”
 

Verdict: Niskach's infectious personality ensures you can’t help but have fun with this one … even if you lack any smooth moves.

Faster Pittsburgh  •  4898 Campbells Run Road, Robinson Township; 412/489-6036, performfaster.com.
Drop-ins/$10 or $80/10 classes. There are no membership fees.
 

Eat This Month

Turmeric
Turmeric, a spice used frequently in Indian dishes, originates from the curcuma longa plant. It produces curcumin, shown to have anti-inflammatory benefits, antioxidant and anti-cancer properties, says registered dietitian Rita M. Singer of Connected Health. Combined, turmeric and curcumin are believed to alleviate inflammation caused by arthritis as well as support the liver, colon and cellular health. Recommended daily serving for adults is between 250-500 mg, to be taken with black pepper for absorption.
 

We gonna party all night!

We gonna party all night!

We gonna party all night!

It’s hard to tell what’s throwing me off about this R.I.P.P.E.D. class at You Rock Fitness, but one thing’s for sure: the hip hop/rap soundtrack to which we’re aerobicizing is throwing me back to Pittsburgh’s club scene circa 1998.

Regardless, 15 minutes in and I’m dogging it. Our enthusiastic instructor, Tadd Moreland, doesn’t hesitate to call me out.

“Oh, convenient!” he smiles, voice booming through his headset microphone. “Taking notes during the burpees!”

Touted as a “One-Stop Body Shock,” R.I.P.P.E.D. is an acronym that combines resistance, interval, power, plyometrics, endurance and diet for a “Plateau-Proof Fitness Formula” that claims to burn between 750-1,000 calories in 50 minutes.
 

The body shock comes from stimulating different muscle groups every six to nine minutes during each class and changing up the overall routine every three months. It’s said to stave off boredom and prevent your muscles from becoming too accustomed to a routine. Before beginning, Moreland provides me with a thorough breakdown of each circuit.  

“Resistance hits the arms and shoulders. Interval ramps up the heart and brings it back down; it’s cardio-oriented. For Power, we target the large muscle groups: legs, chest, back. Plyometrics consists of explosive movements, and Endurance is the largest section, using kickboxing to build physical and mental endurance.”

Diet, well, we gloss over that one. I assume it doesn’t involve a 12-pack from Dunkin’ Donuts, which, in a sick twist of fate, is located next door. 

My convenient note-taking ends up carrying me through more of this class than I intended for a few reasons, one of which involves a finicky sciatic nerve and lower back that both revolt when I’m down… back… out… in… out… in… up… one more time-ing and most definitely when I’m knee up to the side… knee up to the side… now fast! Two, three, four, five, six, seven-ing.
 

“Keep going!” Moreland encourages as the music blares. “Boom!”

Don’t try to test me, homie!

Get outta my way!

Get outta my way!

Scribbling away, I finally realize exactly what’s bothering me: it feels as though the ghosts of routines past — Denise Austin, Shaun T and Billy Blanks — are begging for a reunion.

Nice to see them alive and kicking, but I’ve moved on.

Verdict: If you enjoy choreographed routines that aim to combine popular elements from a wide variety of well-known workouts, this is for you.  

You Rock Fitness  •  11171 Perry Highway, Wexford; 412/477-7393, yourockfitness.com.
Drop-ins are $8/class; monthly fees vary. No memberships or contracts.
 

Eat This Month

Apple-Cider Vinegar
More than just a flavoring agent, apple-cider vinegar is fermented apple juice that is believed to offer multiple health benefits. These include aiding in weight loss, soothing an upset stomach or sore throat and supporting immune function, says Christina Tarantola, a pharmacist, certified health coach and co-owner of The Diet Doc Pittsburgh North. “Dilute 1 to 2 tablespoons in a big glass of water, and sip it once or two times a day before meals. It also makes a great salad dressing,” she says.
 

You should hit up Orangetheory. It’s designed to keep your heart rate in a certain band. I have not done it yet, but it’s big.”

I had no idea what my friend was texting me about, but he had piqued my interest enough for me to check it out online. Heart-Based Interval Training … Burn 500-1,000 calories in a 60-minute session … burn calories up to 36 hours post workout … lose up to 8 lbs. per week.  

Upon arrival, I realized I had passed the East Liberty studio countless times before, although for whatever reason my brain associated the sign with Orange Julius.

“We’ve heard that before,” laughed studio manager and Pittsburgh regional director Claire Williamson. I’m handed a heart monitor to strap under my shirt, the output from which will display on a flat screen hanging in the gym.
 

“The goal is to be in the green,” she says, noting the majority of the class (25-35 minutes) should be spent there.

“But we want you to push it to the orange or red zone for about 12-20 minutes. The combination of working into the orange/red zones and recovering into the green zone throughout the workout for those specific time goals leads to an ideal optimization of fuel use throughout the workout and a change in body composition.”

Today is an ESP day — endurance, strength and power — of 55 minutes divided between the treadmill, weight floor and rower. The gym itself is lit in an orange-ish red color because, she explains, orange is the color of happiness and energy.

As the rest of the class enters, Williamson puts on her headset, cranks up the music and begins cheerily doling out instructions in rapid fire.
 

Figuring I'm in familiar territory, I increase the treadmill’s incline to a level 6 and adjust the speed to 4 miles per hour to begin with a good, steady run. Heart racing after about two and a half minutes, I glance at the monitor, expecting to see red. Instead, my stats indicate I’m chilling in the blue zone. I pick up the pace to 6 miles per hour with the incline at 8. See another minute tick off the clock. Great. Only 17 more to go. But the monitor indicates I’ve finally pushed green. Continuing, I feel my heart threatening to implode as Williamson encourages us to “get uncomfortable” for a 90-second burst, which I do, legs flying at 7 miles per hour with the incline still at an 8. Gasping for air as I finally break orange, I begin thinking about my typical hour-long workouts and one word comes to mind: cute.

By the end, 16 of us have collectively burned 10,557 calories, 515 of which were mine. My body is ready to collapse, and I’m starting to think my “friend” hates me. Still, some sadistic pull has me wanting more.

“People get really addicted to it,” Williamson says.

Verdict: Fitness novices, beware. 

This is intense.  

Orangetheory Fitness,  5841 Penn Ave., East Liberty; 412/362-3616, orangetheoryfitness.com.
The first session is free with monthly memberships ranging from $59-$159.
 

Eat This Month

Probiotics
Probiotics are found naturally in your body and in foods such as yogurt and aged cheeses, or they also can be purchased as a supplement, says registered dietitian Sharon Bachman.

Benefits include weight loss, digestion, strengthened immunity and protection against gum disease and colon cancer.

Adults can start with a daily serving, although for the first few weeks expect side effects: bloating, diarrhea, gas and upset stomach.

“It’s just your body’s response to getting rid of the bad bacteria, and symptoms will resolve,” says Bachman.
 

It’s the comment about 1,000 reps per class that I’m having trouble getting past.

My BODYPUMP instructor, Maria Porco, has continued with the conversation although the echo in my head has muted her: 1,000 reps, 1,000 reps, 1,000 reps…

“A thousand reps, huh?” I ask about 10 minutes before my class at X Shadyside is set to begin.

“Yep, a thousand,” she smiles. “The concept is based on low weights/high reps.”
 

Their definition of “high reps” shouldn’t have come as a surprise. The promo video for this class offers this succinct advice: When your body screams, tell it to shut up. BODYPUMP falls under the Les Mills brand of workouts, named in honor of the four-time Olympian and New Zealander whose concept uses light-to-moderate weights to sculpt and tone.  

“I will tell you right now, the chest is the worst because you’re doing pulses. When it’s over you’ll probably feel like you can’t move — but you’ll be all right,” Porco assures me.

Makes sense. The whole point of the class is getting the reps in. All 1,000 of them.

Our warm-up is brief, easy work with the barbells. Everyone has chosen the amount of weight they want to add: plates of 2.5, 5 or 11 lbs.

I was warned ahead of time not to overshoot my confidence, to begin with smaller plates to see how the squats, chest, back, triceps, biceps, lunges and shoulder workouts feel.

We start in on our quads.

“All right, here we go!” Porco calls out. “Bend your knees, pick your bar up. Mid stance… slow down… and again. We’re here for awhile. Enjoy!”

Meticulously choreographed to the music, our reps continue.

3…2…1… up slow, again… 3…2…1… up slow, again.

I’m wondering if anyone is counting how close we’re getting to 1,000. I see eyes searching for the clock already.

“Now arms!” Porco says. Quick down, up 2…3…4… down 1…2… up 1…2…
 

“We’re not done! Sixteen pushups on your knees or, for a challenge, on your toes,” she says.

The intensity continues through our deadlifts, lunges, shoulders and abs, but there’s no pressure or tyranny as people pause to take a breath. No one screams if you decide to lighten your weight load, either. Which happens. Five pounds doesn’t seem like a lot until you realize you’ve got 800 reps to go. 

“It’s intense, but it’s your class,” Porco says. “I tell students to do what’s best for you.”

Verdict: You’ll hit muscles you’ve missed before. Be prepared, though — you’ll be facing abundant arm stretches for days after.  

X Shadyside, 5608 Walnut St., Shadyside; 412/363-9999, xshadyside.com 
Drop in fee of $10 per class.
 

Eat This Month

Magnesium
Magnesium is one of seven macro minerals vital for the proper functioning of hundreds of enzymes within the body that help to metabolize food and transmit nerve impulses. It’s also thought to alleviate PMS, anxiety and migraines and increase bone density, says registered and licensed dietitian Megan Neiman. While eating whole foods always is best, if your diet’s short on whole grains, nuts, seeds, dark green vegetables and whole wheat pasta, a magnesium citrate supplement (no more than 350 mg/day for adults) can be added, she says.
 

You’ve done it. You’re here. The time is now …” reads a banner hanging in the Greentree SportsPlex. “Now go punch something.”

The invitation to pummel the living daylights out of something has proved so irresistible that there’s a waitlist for this session of the Crunch N Punch cardio boxing class at Warriors Fitness.

“It gives people a little taste of boxing while still being a full body workout,” says Anthony Colonna, owner and Pittsburgh Fight Club alum, as he hands me two army-green Ringside hand wraps.

Ready to channel my inner Rocky Balboa, I’m joined by 12 ladies of various ages and body types; Colonna explains that the group includes everyone from first-timers to a woman who has been boxing for years.

Our circuit will include 12 drills lasting three minutes each, with a 60-second break in between. The drills are outlined using numeric code — 1,2…1, 1, 2…1, 1, 2, 3, 6 — notated on round cards that hang behind heavy bags flanking the walls.

“One stands for your left jab,” he says. “Two is your right. Three is your left hook. Six is your right hook.”

As a courtesy to the newbies, he patiently explains the drill for each station, which also includes a life-sized dummy — a “Body Opponent Bag,” Colonna says. BOB usually bears the brunt of everyone’s stressed-out existence and has inspired requests for an “Ex Day” in which participants pin BOB’s rubbery body with a photo of their former lovers.  

“Out of everything, people like to punch him the most,” Colonna says.

With everyone up to speed, it’s time for this 48-minute class to begin. Gloves on, each of us takes a station and waits for a digital whistle to blow from an iPad.

“Is this a hardcore workout?” I ask a middle-aged woman as she goes to town on a speedbag.

“Oh yeah,” she says, smiling and pounding away.

Soon, we’re all going at it, although I’m wondering if anyone else’s shoulders are burning 15 seconds in. I glance over at the door, from which a reassuring air quote is hanging: “I survived.”

Uppercuts, hooks, Russian twists, rows-squat-jump, side-to-side squat jump, double end bags, resistance-band presses … by the time I get to BOB, my shoulders have rubberized. The fatigue pales in comparison, however, to the sheer joy that comes from clocking him in the jaw with a right hook.  

“On a scale from one-to-I-can’t-move-tomorrow, what am I looking at?” I huff.  

“No more than a six or seven,” Colonna smiles. “You’ll survive.”

Verdict: Amazing. Prepare to sweat this one out, feeling noticeably stronger and tighter in the core/upper body. 

Warriors Fitness, Greentree SportsPlex, 600 Iron City Drive, Green Tree; 412/512-3261, warriors-fitness.com. Single class/$17; monthly memberships vary.
 

Eat This Month

Pulses
Pulses — dry peas, lentils, chickpeas and beans — are versatile, easy to prepare and play a key role in weight management as well as vegetarian and gluten-free diets, says Caroline Passerrello, a spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. Incorporate pulses into your meals by adding chickpeas to your salad, baking black bean ‘brownies,’ making lentil burgers or purchasing pastas made from pulse flour.
 

It’s about the time I can feel my arms begin to rubberize when I’m assured that, in all likelihood, I won’t wake up tomorrow feeling too bad. 

“It’s day two you have to watch out for,” says Eddie Pavlick, a certified TRX instructor. “Just drink lots of water and maybe take an ibuprofen.”

It’s clear the Navy SEALS weren’t fooling around when they developed TRX — or Total Body Resistance Exercise — as a quick-and-dirty strengthening program leveraging gravity and one’s own body weight. 

“They wanted something to do on deployment so they designed it around using their parachute straps that they’d hang from trees,” Pavlick says. 

We’re divided into two groups. One group hits the station circuits while the other heads over to the rowing machines for a 14-minute cardio blast. On Pavlick’s cue, we’ll switch sides. 

There are 15 of us in the 7:15 p.m. class, which I’m told fills up as quickly as a 5 a.m. class. Stenciled on the wall in big, orange letters is the word S-W-E-A-T. This apparently is an omen. Within five minutes, we’re all huffing. 

Our stations revolve primarily around the TRX Trainers — i.e. suspended gymnastic rings — where we’ll execute a deadlift to a press, split squat hoisting a matching set of kettlebells, hip hinge to a kick out, single-arm pull side to side, in addition to push-ups and walk backs, burpees with a 20-pound medicine ball and a seated curl to a press. We’re to remain at each station for one minute. 

“Ready…. Set….” Pavlick calls out under the glow of overhead strobe lights and a disco ball, music thumping. 

Relying heavily on core and arm strength, each station takes full advantage of working muscles I always thought I was hitting with my usual gym routine until I can feel them start to revolt. Triceps, biceps, forearms: I can feel them all getting obliterated.    

While I wonder how many TRX’ers have offered prayers to the giant Buddha in the front window as I grunt through my rowing circuit. Pavlick remains a steady source of positive reinforcement, deftly providing an assist to anyone in need.  

“You’ll be able to move tomorrow,” he smiles. “I promise.” 

Verdict: Punishing, but one class leaves you feeling remarkably firm with only minor muscle aches felt a few days after.

California Cycle Path, 3635 California Ave., Brighton Heights;
412/761-1671, californiacyclepath.com. First class free, then $15/single class
or $75/month unlimited. Online reservations recommended.
 

Eat This Month

Kimchi 
Kimchi, or fermented vegetables, is a nutritional powerhouse, says Lauri Lang, a registered dietitian-nutritionist. The “Journal of Medicinal Food” cites health benefits of this vegetable probiotic as anticancer and anti-obesity; it also can help reduce cholesterol and boost the immune system. There is no recommended daily serving although one tablespoon to ½ cup is standard. Recipes typically include garlic, ginger and red pepper powder. “Kick scrambled eggs up a notch, try in salads, sandwiches, wraps and stews,” Lang says.
 

I can’t wait to stab someone.”

I look over at the little moppet sitting on the floor. His eyes are wide, eager. No one in the gymnasium — our two instructors, his parents or the tween sitting next to him — seems to be concerned about his joyful outburst.

Frankly, neither am I. After sitting in gridlock traffic on Penn Avenue for 40 minutes, I can’t wait to stab someone either.

“That’s our plan,” says Three Rivers Fencing Center instructor David Galinsky. “To get some of our aggression out.”

I’m told that while many students range in age from 9 to 14, adults also can partake in the fun. “We have two 60-something nurses who come,” fellow instructor Jennifer Hess says. As luck would have it, I’m the older and wiser one of this three-person class … by about 25 years.

Because the yearlings already have three weeks of instruction on bodily mechanics under their belt, it’s decided that David will give me a crash course on foot and blade work.

Handing me a flexible blade foil — calling it a sword is frowned upon in this modern Olympic sport — we run through the basics in a vertical area taped off on the floor. “Right leg forward. Left leg out and facing the wall to achieve an “L” shape. Squat. No really, squat. Bend those knees.

“Now,” he says, “heel to toe forward. Smaller steps equal more control. Then retreat with the back of your foot. All moves start and end en garde.”

We run through this multiple times — forward back, forward back — then he teaches me to lunge. “The basic form of attack,” he says. “Your front foot kicks out while your back leg stays planted.”

“Got it,” I reply. “When do I get to stab someone?”

I’m strapped into a plastic chest protector and then a jacket with a yellowed collar and sleeves. Then comes the mask, the interior of which could use a continuous spray of disinfectant.

I salute my tween opponent, then the ref. Everyone is jovial. Good clean fun, ha ha ha. Until my opponent accidentally stabs me in the thigh. Hard. Feeling a welt forming, I see no good reason why not to unload 38 years’ worth of frustrations on this kid. Might as well take advantage of a captive audience.

I lose the bout 5-3 … yet leave remarkably free of stress.

Verdict: Expect to leave breathing hard. Movement looks minimal, but don’t be deceived; this is a serious workout.  

Three Rivers Fencing Center, 7501 Penn Ave., Point Breeze; 412/731-4454, threeriversfencing.org.
Drop-ins are $30/class; open bouting is $20/day with your own equipment; memberships are $100-$200, or $1,200/year.
 

Eat This Month

Nutritional Yeast
“Nutritional yeast is a complete protein, containing the nine essential amino acids that your body cannot make itself and must obtain from food,” says registered dietitian Jennifer Nguyen. Depending on which brand you purchase, nutritional yeast also may contain B12, a vitamin primarily found in animal-based foods. “Two tablespoons contain 60 calories, 4 grams of fiber and 9 grams of plant-based protein. It is low in sodium and gluten/dairy/soy/cholesterol free,” she adds. With its nutty, cheesy flavor, it’ll be put to good use while making mac and cheese or mashed potatoes or sprinkled on popcorn or soups.
 

Somewhere along the way, my creative juices had learned to flow most freely when I'm hunched over my keyboard like some squinty-eyed Quasimodo. In response, my easily agitated joints were rioting. After a particularly hectic week spent basking in the blue glow of my laptop under an avalanche of deadlines, it was time to stage a self-inflicted intervention.

Chalk it up to hormonal disturbances — or a “Bah Humbug” response to a holiday that has become more stressful and expensive with every passing year of adulthood — but what I desperately needed was to uncoil: mentally, physically and emotionally.

Out of the blue, an email arrived promoting physical activities hosted by Ace Hotel in East Liberty. While getting pelted in the head with rapid-fire dodge balls was a pass, six words in bold, capital letters mesmerized me.

RELAX + RESTORE. SUNDAY YOGA STRETCH.

I set off that week but had a demoralizing revelation en route: the class started at 10 a.m., not 10:30, which meant I was going to be 15 minutes late.

A very quiet second-floor ballroom and Felicia Lane Savage, our radiantly warm instructor, greeted me without judgment.

“Find a relaxing position,” she said, as the sound of Native American bamboo flutes gently massaged our eardrums. “This class is all about you. It’s meant to be restorative, not stressful.”

Slow inhales … slow exhales … rolling our knees to the left … then the right. Back to center. Gently breathing, eyes closed, jaw unclenched, hands open. No pretzel-like positions, no death-defying shoulder stands. Surrounding me were retirees, hipsters and a pregnant woman about to pop. Everyone seemed to be entranced.

“Would you like an eye pillow filled with joy?” Felicia asked, approaching softly with an organic satchel of geranium, coriander, jasmine and rose. Yes, eye pillow filled with joy, please.

“It’s to relax your eyelids and muscles, to help you switch off and surrender to the Earth. Taking sight away forces you to become aware of your body,” she explained before tiptoeing away.

My soul feels as if it’s getting a Swedish massage. Gentle, fluid movement. Easy breathing. Tranquil meditation. Body, mind, heart simply still.

“People need to be restored, not over-stimulated,” Felicia said as class came to an end. “This is a time they can switch off, surrender and submit to the earth. And most importantly, heal.”

Verdict: Bliss.
Details: Sunday mornings from 10-11 a.m. Free to the public, although a $5 donation is suggested. No reservations needed. Mats are provided.  

Ace Hotel, 120 S. Whitfield St., East Liberty; 412/361-3300, acehotel.com/pittsburgh
 

Eat This Month

Plant-Based Proteins
“Protein doesn’t have to be meat. There are many benefits to [eating] beans, nuts or legumes. Not only are they low in fat but they provide fiber and other vitamins and minerals,” says registered dietitian Nick Fischer of Fischer Nutrition LLC. Cut your weight in half to determine the number of grams of protein you need daily. Fischer also suggests tofu as it is a quality source of protein, contains fiber and easily is marinated, baked or grilled. “Mash it with nutritional yeast, and it tastes like scrambled eggs,” he says.
 

Square your blade! Way enough! Fall out!

There are eight of us, a Beginner Masters team of rowers hailing from the Three Rivers Rowing Association, seated in a sleek, 60-foot-long, gleaming white double scull christened Take It to the Sky. I’ve been placed in Seat 3 in the bow; it’s considered the “powerhouse” section, but I have no idea what language people are speaking.

Starboard strong, port easy!   

“There is no ‘I’ in crew,” says my coach, Anne Hockenberry. “Everyone has a purpose, whether it’s strength, speed or technical competence.”

This became clear when we lugged our deceivingly lightweight-looking shell from the boathouse to the river. 

“Yeah,” huffs one of my crewmates as we follow precise instruction to hoist it up. “It’s heavy.”

It’s a lesson in maneuverability getting it into the water. Once we do, we’re under the direction of our coxswain, Beth, who sits in the stern and guides us out of the channel flanking Washington’s Landing and into the Allegheny River. It’s Beth’s job to make sure we are setting a good pace, balanced and paying attention.  

Power 10!

My job is to listen for my cue, “3,” rely on the kindness of strangers to translate the lingo, and never, ever, let go of my oar. In addition to being a faux pas, losing one throws the entire boat off-balance.  

Equally bad: falling into the water. If I do, Anne must complete a mountain of paperwork after she fishes me out.

We begin to row. Coxswain Beth tells us when to feather our blades, when to square them. Which seats should rest, which should stroke. We pass under the 40th Street Bridge. A dead catfish floats by.  

The technical aspect of rowing is fascinating. Synchronization is paramount. One mistimed stroke makes a noticeable difference in our balance, speed and direction. When I fail to release the blade quickly enough from the water, I essentially put the brakes on. Catching a crab, they call it.

Finally in sync, everything becomes fluid; we’re soaring! “How fast were we going?” I ask.

“Not very fast,” Anne says with a smile.

When we head back, crossing under the 31st Street Bridge, the setting sun leaves watercolor strokes across the city skyline.    

“Anyone can do this at any point in life,” Anne says. “We have a 78-year-old who joined a class.”

Verdict: Now’s the perfect time to join. The Winter Rowing League trains inside during the off-season so that you’re ready for the water come spring.  

Three Rivers Rowing, 412/821-1710, threeriversrowing.org. Fitness and competitive teams are available for men, women and youth.
 

Eat This Month

​Chia Seeds
These small but powerful seeds are high in protein, fiber and omega-3s, making them a great addition to any meal, says registered dietitian Allison Wade of Case Specific Nutrition. Enjoy in a variety of ways, whether raw or in baked dishes. Wade suggests adding them to yogurt, pudding, smoothies, breading for fish or chicken, or to replace an egg when baking. There is no USDA recommended daily serving; most packages suggest a serving size of 2 tablespoons.
 

I realize I am subject to injury from this activity and that no form of preplanning can remove all the dangers to which I am exposing myself…”

The waiver I sign before my private lesson at The Climbing Wall isn’t what gives me pause. It’s when my instructor, Mike, tells me not to focus on my hands.

“Lean into the wall and use your legs and core,” he explains, ascending a 15-foot-tall slab with the agility of a gecko. “Just run your hands over the wall, but don’t grab onto anything. You have to trust your feet.”

The trust issues between my uncoordinated feet and I are becoming glaringly obvious. I thought this was all about the upper body.    

“That’s the biggest misconception,” he says, hopping down to the very buoyant, padded floor. “It’s really about the lower body. You want to be very precise about where you put your body weight.”

With trepidation, I follow a path marked with white tape indicating an easy route, pressing my body against the wall as my mind screams, Grab onto something, stupid!   
“Trust your feet,” Mike repeats encouragingly as I come to a screeching halt halfway up.  

“I don’t want to,” I reply, hugging the wall.

Mike assures me this is normal. That trusting your lower extremities comes with practice. It’s why, he adds, that rock climbing is as much a mental sport as it is a physical one.
That becomes blatantly evident when I’m harnessed in the Top Roping area, where walls soar about three stories high. “Don’t worry,” he says, tightening the rope. “It’s totally secure.”

I ask if he’s having a good day. He laughs. But I want to know. This is, after all, the guy who now holds my life in his hands via a rope.

Three-quarters of the way up, I make the mistake of looking down. “I want to stop,” I call out.

“OK, but you’re so close!” he encourages. “I know you can do this.”

There’s no way I’m wimping out, so I soldier on, but I’ve broken up with my feet. As a result, my forearms are in spasm from pulling my body weight as I cling for dear life, determined to reach the summit.

When I do, I slap the ceiling and do the most terrifying thing of all: release my death grip on the holds and sit back into the harness.

“Now comes the fun part,” Mike says with a smile as I descend back to earth.

Verdict: It’s a mental and physical puzzle that proves you can do far more than you credit yourself to accomplish.

The Climbing Wall
7501 Penn Ave., Point Breeze; 412/247-7334, theclimbingwall.net
Price: $12/all-day pass
Equipment rentals: $2/harness; $2/chalk bag; $4/shoes. Helmets are free.
Memberships and pass plans also available. Ages 6 and up welcome
 

Eat This Month

Kombucha Beverages
Touted as a way to increase your intake of probiotics naturally, Kombucha is a fermented beverage made from brewed tea and sugar that also is thought to improve brain health and ease depression.

“Research supports the idea that a healthy gut leads to a happy brain and positive thoughts,” says nutrition consultant and Nutrition CheckUp CEO Heather Mangieri.

Easily found at the supermarket, Kombucha has no recommended daily serving — it’s simply another way to incorporate fermented foods into the diet, Mangieri adds.
 

The more skin, the better.”

The answer Fullbody Fitness Club co-owner Jenly Deiter provides to my question, “What should I wear?” shouldn’t have come as a surprise. After all, this is a pole-fitness class.  

“It’s better when the skin sticks to the pole,” she explains.

Truth be told, this isn’t my first time at the rodeo. Years ago, a friend invited me to take classes at her studio for “fun.” Within minutes, I realized I had overshot my confidence as I watched women twice my size swing around with the grace of swans while I managed to entangle all four limbs (as well as the alluring little ensemble I was sporting). 

For a brief moment, I question my decision to reopen old ego wounds, until I conclude that I’m now older, wiser and sufficiently humbled enough to give it another go.

So I arrive for Fullbody’s beginner’s class wearing yoga pants and a tank. Inside are five, 10-foot-high silver poles, each anchored to black circular bases. All of the students are wearing spandex shorty-shorts.

I begin rolling my pants. “Higher,” says my instructor, Nikkie. “The more skin on the pole, the better.”

When the music begins, we each grab one. Most of the women are younger, although one mother/daughter duo arrives just as we begin a warm up to “fire up the large muscles,” Nikkie explains.

She leads us through a round of Pole Push Ups: hands on the base, legs up and knees wrapped around the pole. Five is the goal. I get through three. Pathetic, given my fitness claim to fame is the ability to do 20 military-style push-ups with ease. 

After practicing Pole Walks, in which we’re elevated on our toes, hips swaying as we slink our way around the pole, we prep for a move Nikkie calls the Skater into a Back Hook.

Demonstrating, she hooks her knee around the pole, grabs it high, and pushes off with the outside leg, drifting into an effortless spin. When she makes it halfway, she plants her feet again and falls into a backwards spin in the opposite direction.

She patiently demonstrates more than once until I get it. By the time I do, everyone else has moved on to the Inverted Crucifix, Pole Climb and sensual Gluteal Isolations.

“A lot of people are used to hiding their body and sexuality,” Nikkie says when I ask for tips on how to get loose. “Here, you can just let it go. It’s not catty. We’re all incredibly supportive.”

This proves to be true. Within moments, one of my classmates offers a piece of ginger gum to ease my self-inflicted vertigo.

“That was a beautiful spin,” she says with a smile.  

Verdict: You’ll use muscles — and confidence — you never knew you had. Men and women of all ages and skill levels are welcome.  

​FULLBODY FITNESS CLUB
4070 Brownsville Road, Brentwood; 412/253-2512, fullbodyfitnessclub.com. $20/single class; $85/five pole classes and one open gym; $150/10 pole classes and two open gyms
 

Eat This Month
 

Tart Cherry Juice
Tart cherry juice has been shown to reduce inflammation and oxidative stress following a strenuous exercise program, says UPMC sports dietitian Jeffrey Lucchino. Drinking two 8-ounce servings, one in the morning and one in the evening, is ideal, he says. Additionally, cherries are known for their antioxidant capacity and contain a high amount of melatonin, which may help to improve the quality and duration of your sleep.
 

I have recently come to the conclusion that my workout routine needs some street cred.

That way, when someone proposes, “Let’s take a Zumba class tonight,” I can reply, “Sorry, can’t. I’m doing mixed martial arts.”

My inner circle is skeptical. “Uh, you know that’s like, full-body combat, right?” cautions a well-intentioned pal.

“Duh,” I reply before pausing. “Wait, you think they’ll actually punch me?”

So I call Top Tier MMA on Camp Horne Road, run by Mike Willus and brothers Josh and Justin Erdner, all pro fighters. Once I get the lowdown (and assurances I'm not going to get KO’d), I arrive a few days later at their facility.

Inside stand half a dozen guys and one woman, all of varying fitness levels. A black mat, freshly sanitized, occupies most of the floor. In one corner hangs a handful of punching bags, in the other stands a cage.

“Put me in,” I say, taking off my shoes, thankful for a recent pedicure.

“We ease people into things, especially with contact,” says Josh, looking amused. “We’re not just going to throw you into the cage.”

After signing a waiver, we warm up. With the Dropkick Murphys blasting, we stretch, work on core strengthening, try buddy push-ups and perform swivels to open our hips. Afterward, Justin takes me aside to learn basic punches.

“Don’t give me the pink gloves,” I insist.

Helping me into a pair of black Rivals, he offers this advice: “Always keep your gloves up. Ideally, at your eyebrows.”

At the bag, he patiently walks me through jabs, crosses, uppercuts and hooks. “Jabs are for speed. Everything in your body explodes up at the same time in an upper cut,” he says. Once he’s satisfied I’ve got it, he encourages me to pound away, which I do with wild abandon.  

We then hit the mat to learn a submission hold. He gets down on his back. I’m over him on all fours. I can imagine how this looks. He shows me what to do. I comply, taking a few seconds to realize the tapping on my back means, “OK, you’re about to pop my shoulder out,” not “Good job!”  

With a few minutes left, it’s time to Burn Out: pummeling the bag before dropping to the floor, burpee-style, whenever Josh yells “Sprawl!”

“Are you breathing heavy?” he smiles as I pound away, nodding.

“You better,” he laughs.

Verdict: This was the best stress-relieving upper body workout of all time. You needn’t be pursuing a career in the cage to reap the benefits. All skill levels, regardless of gender, are welcome.

Top Tier Gym
Monday-Thursday 6-7 p.m. and Saturday 1-2 pm; Drop-ins are $15 per class.
(300 Camp Horne Road, Ohio Township; 412/766-3120, toptiergym.com)
 

Eat This Month
 

Algal Oil
Algal oil, sourced from marine algae, is a great way to get EPA and DHA omega-3 fatty acids typically found in fish, says Dr. Matthew Darnell, director of Wellness and Human Performance master of science program at the University of Pittsburgh.

“Consuming one-two servings per week of fish or taking fish oil supplements are common recommendations for U.S. adults. However if someone is vegan, or concerned about the sustainability of fish, algae or algal oil supplements can be a good option,” he says, adding that food options including nori and kelp contain between 4-134 mg of DHA/EPA per 1 ounce serving (the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics recommends healthy adults consume 500 mg DHA/EPA per day).
 

This is because I can vividly recall flipping myself while swinging in the park, much to my delight and the sheer horror of my panicked mother. Such bold behavior earned me bragging rights and plaster casts. Huh, I think as pressure builds behind my eyeballs. Funny how that was once what I called “cool.”  

“Trust the silk,” assures our instructor, Will Brani. “Let go of the silk.”

Half of us seem to be dubious. Odd, since we’ve all voluntarily signed up for this aerial yoga class at Aerial Movement in Blawnox.

I begin to laugh. Let go of the silk? “Let go of the silk,” he repeats. So I do. There seems to be a lot of blood rushing to my head now. I begin to question my decision not to eat since lunchtime. Brani wants us to extend our legs in a “V” towards the ceiling.

“Where do I go from here?” asks the inverted gentleman beside me, his body locked in an “I.” 

While Brani offers an assist, I immediately contemplate how I’m going to explain this to my chiropractor.

The steel frame to which all seven of us are anchored groans. I manage to pull myself up and gently drop to the floor, purposefully taking notes while everyone else flips upright. Within moments, they have managed to follow Brani’s instruction to flip into what he calls “The Flying Diaper.”

“This feels weird,” someone calls out. 

For an hour, the class continues to flip themselves into and out of various positions: Flying Yogi, Floating Pigeon. A very ethereal version of Nirvana’s “Come as You Are” plays softly.

“It’s a lot simpler than you think,” Brani tries to assure me. I'm skeptical; positive my body will revolt. I want to explain my tale of woe: how I woke up a few months ago to stiff muscles and misaligned vertebrae that seemed to guarantee my chiropractor's early retirement. As everyone inverts, twists, and pulls, I eye the silk with trepidation.

When our hour is almost up, Brani dims the lights. Each of us gets spritzed with an essential oil spray of lavender, patchouli and lemon.  We’re all cocooned now, swinging gently. “Savasana,” he explains. Corpse Pose.  

I’ve finally found my bliss.   

The verdict: if you enjoy a lot of inversion and do not get dizzy easily, this is for you.  

Fitness With a Twist
Beginner classes are offered Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday; cost is $20/drop-in class; $80 for 5 classes; $150 for 10 classes;
469 Freeport Road, Blawnox; 412/377-5889, aerialmovementpgh.com
 

Eat This Month

Sprouted Grains
Carbaholics, rejoice: the Whole Grains Council backs the health benefits of sprouted grains. During the sprouting process, the grain’s natural enzymes break down the protein and carbohydrates, making them easier to digest than white or whole-wheat grains. Sprouted grains also retain a greater portion of key nutrients such as B vitamins, vitamin C, folate, fiber and essential amino acids. What’s more, they boast health benefits of decreased blood pressure and increased HDL “good” cholesterol. “Sprouted grains are lower glycemic, releasing sugar into the body at a slower speed than whole grains. This means you will gain less weight with sprouted than with traditional grains,” says Dr. Conan Shaw, a certified clinical nutritionist. 
 

When information about the new drumming class at the Iceoplex at Southpointe’s Bodytech gym made its way into my inbox, my inclination was to hit “delete.”

This is because I am in no way, shape or form rhythmic. Drumming? Moving to the beat? While holding drum sticks? It immediately conjured up memories of my dear parents graciously indulging my childhood delusion of becoming a Broadway dancer even though I clearly possessed the rhythmic dexterity of a wooden post.   

These are the workouts I generally avoid like the plague.

“A lot of our classes take a lot longer to build up, but this one already has a following,” says Mandi Pryor, director of marketing and sponsorship.

“I’m not very coordinated,” I explain.

“We don’t judge!” she replies merrily.

It dawns on me that the least I could do for these people is to provide some comedic relief for week. So I sign a release and follow her downstairs.

Ten of us assemble in a bright, mirrored room in the depths of the Iceoplex, where two rows of bright yoga balls are perched atop orange Home Depot buckets.

“People don’t realize there’s a lot of cardio that goes along with drumming,” says my instructor, Melissa Frameli.

So, we’re going to sweat?

“Oh yeah,” she says with a smile.

We’re each given a pair of wooden drumsticks and station ourselves in front of a bucket/ball. Everyone is cheery, smiling, psyched. I apologize in advance to my neighbor if I end up impaling her with my stick. The music starts, a pulsating womp, tap, womp, tap, womp, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

“Hands above head!” Melissa calls out as we begin tapping to the beat. “Left then right!”

I feel my abs engage as I twist right, center, then left for about a dozen reps before we are tapping floor, bucket, ball and overhead again. Then jumping jacks: tapping ball, overhead, ball, overhead, ball, overhead, all timed to the music. Sway, sway, sway. Suddenly, I feel my hips unlocking — a physiological miracle.

Twenty minutes in and we’re all sweating. A lot. “Now squat!” Melissa continues, dropping close to the floor. “Lower!”

Someone asks how many squats we are going to be doing. “A lot of squats!” Melissa shouts.  

I catch my neighbor’s eye. “My butt is going to burn!” she says happily as we squat, squat, squat, tapping center, right, left, floor, overhead, squat, squat, squat. It strikes me as odd that she’s smiling. Until I realize, we’re all smiling.     

Verdict: Do it! The movements are easy to follow — nothing requiring an advanced degree in Danceology, and each movement is timed perfectly to the beat of classic rock and pop songs. It was one of the most fun, yet challenging, workouts I’ve ever had. 

Classes are held every Tuesday from noon to 12:45 p.m. Walk-ins are $5 per class or free with a gym membership. (114 Southpointe Blvd., Canonsburg; 724/745-6666)
 

Eat This Month

Shakeology
Shakeology continues to sweep the nation, racking up an average of 1.3 million Instagrammers proudly showing off their protein meal-replacement shakes. But is it as good as the real thing?
“I don't think we need meal replacements. We need people to eat meals,” says Mim Seidel, a registered dietitian and assistant professor of nutrition at Chatham University.

“I’m a big proponent of people eating whole foods as opposed to concoctions. You can take whole foods and make your own smoothie — no need to get a mix or anything special.”

For a hearty snack, she recommends:

• 1 cup of plain, nonfat yogurt or skim milk
• 1 banana
• 1 cup of berries
• 1/2 cup orange or pineapple juice.

Blend until smooth and add ice if desired. Total servings: 2. Nutrients per serving include 175 calories, 34 grams carbs and 8 grams protein. (1 cup of soy or almond milk can be substituted. With almond milk, total protein will be 2 grams).

“Shakes are something I like to eat to bulk up without getting fat,” says Pittsburgh Steelers offensive lineman Ramon Foster. 
 

I’ve always approached the idea of a personal trainer with a rolled eye. I’ve got a personal trainer, dahling. Fiddle dee dee! This cynicism runs deep because I’m very good at convincing myself that I know it all when it comes to working out (even though I know I don’t).

So I thought I’d put Russ Kappeler, one of the certified personal trainers at my branch of Fitness 19 in McCandless, to the test. The guy’s fitness/nutrition background spans 25 years, and he’s also a former competitive bodybuilder. 

“People think you have to be a world-class athlete to need a trainer, and that’s not the case,” he explains. Anyone can use a personal trainer — from novices to someone training for a marathon.  

Our first 30-minute session is an orientation so he can customize my plan. He wants to know my health history, eating habits and goals.   

To have the body of Gisele Bundchen, I reply. He hears this one a lot. 

“I can’t wave a magic wand over someone,” he smiles. “It’s a team effort. You can have the best workouts in the world but if you’re going home and eating pizza, cupcakes and wings, forget it.” 

So, we get to work — first with a weighted body bar while sitting on a stability ball for some oblique twists and simulated rowing to work out my core and upper body. Then we’re onto the floor for hip bridges to work my glutes.  Which I begin to feel. Immediately. 

Next he has me do some oblique cable twists followed by a glute bridge/ball roll to work my hamstrings, glutes, abs and lower back — first with both feet on the ball, then with one. He isn’t kidding — this is hard-core. He wants me to experience “momentary muscle failure.” 

In layman’s terms, he explains, balls to the wall. 

I’m digging balls to the wall. Our workout is intense — and really satisfying. 

As we finish, Kappeler remains adamant that people don’t need to become a gym rat to get fit. Work hard for 30-40 minutes about three days a week, he advises, not two hours daily. It’s counterproductive. “Increase intensity, decrease duration,” he says. 

Verdict? I’m a convert. He showed me invaluable techniques to up my game. I’d like to sign up for periodic session to keep things fresh. Pricing varies between $20/$30 per session. One note about the Fitness 19 chain (fitness19.com): Kids as young as 12 years old can get a membership and receive personal training.  
 

Eat This Month

Dietary Nitrates
Dietary nitrates and nitrites received a bad rap recently when studies suggested they may increase the risk of colon cancer when used as preservatives for bacon and other cured meats. But when found naturally in whole foods such as fruits, leeks, dark leafy greens, and root veggies including turnips and beets, dietary nitrates can pack a powerful health punch.

“Increasing consumption of [fruits and vegetables high in] dietary nitrates can have a big impact on lowering blood pressure,” says Dr. Matthew Darnell, assistant professor in the Department of Sports Medicine and Nutrition at the University of Pittsburgh. And a healthier heart can help stave off two of the leading causes of death: heart disease and stroke.
 

An inkling that my class at Pure Barre in Wexford is going to be something … intense … is driven by the booming, techno-esque beats wafting from the studio. I was expecting soothing jungle sounds or reassuring gurgles from a babbling brook.

“It’s not really yoga — it’s more Pilates than anything,” my instructor Maura says with a smile as I take off my shoes. “I’ve had people who run marathons take a class and almost pass out after five minutes.”

She's kidding, of course. No one actually passes out. But I get her drift: Girl, prepare yourself.

Still, I think: Five minutes? Heh. Pathetic. I hit the gym hard at least three times a week. This should be easy.

Eight of us enter the carpeted studio and grab a ball, hand weights and a resistance band. Mirrors line the walls, as does a ballet barre. On the wall is a sign: You’re stronger than you think: Lift, tone, burn.  

I am in total agreement until approximately three minutes into our “warm-up,” which is the precise moment when my thighs begin to feel like a blazing inferno.

You’re stronger than you think!

I glance up at the clock again. Four minutes have passed. Fifty-six to go.

Shut up, sign, I think, holding a position that punishes my glutes. Now I understand why there’s a poster encouraging you to hashtag the phrase: isurvivedpurebarre. The girl in front of me, who is at least 10 years my junior, is wincing. There’s a lot of heavy breathing in the room as we run through arm, thigh, seat and ab exercises either on the floor or using the bar for balance — all quick, precise and deceivingly “simple” until each leaves you lifted, toned and burned in places you didn’t even realize you had. The sets are efficient and flow effortlessly into the next as we tuck, hold and pulse a few more inches while Maura guides us and eventually counts to 10 — which is my new favorite number, because 10 means stop.

Twenty minutes in, and I’m wondering how many Advils I’ll have to pop before I can get out of bed tomorrow. But by the time we cool down, I’m tight in places I didn’t even realize were loose.   

Verdict: Whether beginner or fanatic, Pure Barre will make you sweat in a really good way. All levels are welcome, although you must be at least 18 to join. A new-client special is $99 for one month of unlimited classes, and they can be taken at either the Shadyside or Wexford location. (purebarre.com)
 

Eat This Month

Anti-Inflammatory
Consider drop-kicking foods prone to causing inflammation. “If I have pizza or burgers a couple days in a row, my knees start to feel it for sure,” says recently-retired Pittsburgh Steelers tight end Heath Miller.

In his “Anti-Inflammatory” diet pyramid, Dr. Andrew Weil, Director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona, recommends fruits, veggies, whole soy foods, fatty fish, beans, lean meats, hemp and flax seeds. “If I could summarize everything that I know about nutrition it would be: stop eating refined, processed and manufactured foods,” he says.